So I gave up.
My enthusiasm, passion for pretty much anything and patience all went out the window along with her routine. I've been feeling blah about everything. And then I found this blog.
Let me tell you a little story:
We rent our house. When I was a stupid and naieve 21 year old, I bought a flat with my boyfriend thinking that we'd be together forever, as you do. It didn't work out so I left the relationship and the flat. Gave it all to him and moved back home. It was a mess, a right royal mess, and I vowed never to buy a property with anyone ever again. Besides, I was a free spirit, a rambling child. Nothing was gonna tie me down.
And then I met my husband.
Slightly nervous on the morning of our wedding
We agreed buying a house together was not a great idea. Neither of us wanted to settle in one place plus, buying was so last year and we were way too cool for that. We rented a house together, a lovely victorian town house. It was very 'us' and we lived there happily ever after. Until I got pregnant. A four storey town house was not suitable for a heavily pregnant bird or a crawling, sprawling baby. So we moved. And now we live here; in this three bedroom, 10 year old property with thin, magnolia walls. AND I HATE IT.
Obviously, I feel very blessed to I live in a house. A warm, dry house with no holes in the roof. There are people less fortunate than me, I know. But it isn't our house. It doesn't feel like home.
And all of a sudden, I really really really crave a home. A house that is ours. That we own.
So when I came across this blog, I knew that it wasn't just one of my passing phases to own a home again (others include having another baby, getting my nose pierced, knitting...).
Alexis has a beautiful place. She's a normal human being too, she has clutter! I have sat for hours (and left The Bubble Guppies to watch Lil) reading through her blog, admiring her interior choices. Feeling just a little bit green with envy that she has this wonderful place with lots of pretty things (take a look and you'll understand why). And she makes stuff too, like this love letter and these butterflies and this cooker for her daughter. But what she and her husband have made so ridiculously well (aside from two adorable children) is a home.
And just like that, I don't feel 'beige' anymore. I feel inspired to work towards buying us somewhere that we can make our own, to gather all my ideas together, to save money to buy beautiful things to put in our home. And it isn't just me that feels like this, Tim wants us to buy too! I feel alive again (soz for the cringe) and other than trying to get Lil's routine back to normal, I feel I have a purpose (not just to clean and cook and be a mother and a wife). I want to make things and do things and have more adventures.
This is a bit of a disjointed post, I know. But my head is now buzzing with a zillion things I want to do and two hundred more ideas. I'm excited!
So thank you, Alexis, for bringing me out of this funk.