For Him.

This week has been a tough one easily one of the worst so far, for reasons I won't divulge. Motherhood has been a doddle in comparison.

After this weeks events I feel my husband deserves a post dedicated to him, so here it is...

That man I married has been a rock, superman. He's kept me semi-sane, hasn't judged and stayed calm. Things he does on a daily basis anyway (well maybe not daily because the majority of the time he gets on my tits) but this week he has upped his game and taken control of an unsavoury situation.

I rarely thank him enough for all the wonderful things he does because I'm too busy being nasty to him (I still blame my hormones, that kid has fucked my body over big time) but here is the biggest thank you I could possibly offer him, a spot on my blog (LOLZ - be flattered, husband).

Thanks for your help/love/patience. Regardless of what I my hormones sometimes tell you, you're pretty fucking amazing (and dishy, according to one reader - although I'm still convinced that was you...)


So once again she's a Daddy's girl. She cries when he goes to work, she cries when he takes the dog for a walk, she cries when he goes to get something from the car.

Listen child, I carried you for nine god damn months. Well, almost ten. I had to have my stomach cut open for you. I was in agony for months, all for you. I'm the one that gets slapped in the face, tantrumed on, screamed at, vommed on, thrown food at, wee'd on... and you want your Daddy?

Well, lady, it's tough titties I'm afraid. Daddy has to go to work to fund Mummy's biscuit addiction.

Why do kids do this? 'Don't take it personally' the Daddies say. How can I not? I love that bloody child's bones and I put up with her crap all day long. I'm the one teaching her words every day and helping her practice walking. I give her chocolate (only sometimes, calm down), cuddle her when she's teething, play farms and tea parties every pissing day. I endure Bubble Guppies, for gods sake. And all she wants is her Daddy?

Charming. Fucking charming.

I'll remember this when she comes running to me one day because DADDY said no to something. Oh yes. I'll remind her of all the hard times I went through for her just to be shunned.

And then what? And then, no doubt, I'll cave in and give her everything she wants.


I've been more tired than usual this week. Wanna know why?

Once upon a time I had a baby who slept in until 9:30. That was bliss. And then she started waking at 8:30, 8:00 and up until recently, 7:30. Even that I could handle. And then 7:00. Fine by me, I used to get up at that time to go to work. Easy. Even on not a lot of sleep. But 6:00 and 6:30? Nuh uh, I'm not dealing with that shit. That is her game right now, wake Mama up at ridiculous o clock.

I try and wear and her out every single day, she doesn't go to bed before 8pm. Sometimes she's still up at 9:30. Anyone would think I pour sugar down her throat. Well I don't. So where does this energy come from? Well, i'll tell comes from ME. That's right. She drains it out of me so she can roll around the room like a toddler on speed. How I don't know, but she does. Oh that she does.

Lord knows I never remember feeling this tired in the early days. Back when all I had to do was make her a bottle and wind her. This kid is crazy. 

Or I'm just getting old...

A Very Big House In The Country

This past weekend was spent in the idyllic Cotswolds with family (to celebrate my Father in law turning sixty).

Lil had a blast with her cousins, Chloe and Holly. We visited the butterfly farm in Stratford-Upon-Avon (my idea of hell, as beautiful as butterflies are...they freak me out), played in the park, jumped in muddy puddles, drank wine (the adults not the babes), ate cake and biscuits and filled our lungs with fresh air.

Although teething, Lil was super relaxed and happy for the majority of the weekend (time to move to the countryside I think!) and even though the weather was miserable, it was too beautiful a place to let the rain stop us from having fun...

The amazing cake my sister in law made.

Chloe showing Lil some love

Holly and Lil: the troublesome two


Last Wednesday night in H&M, whilst browsing the boys section, I got a dirty look from a Mum pushing her son in his buggy. Yep, you read that right. Boys section. I wasn't buying a gift for a boy, I was buying for my daughter. I can't be one hundred percent sure why she gave me such a dirty look but I'd bet money on the fact it was because I held up a t-shirt from the boys section (below) and put it against Lil.

Er...since when was Sesame Street a boys programme?

This isn't the first time I've had strange looks from people when they've seen what Lil wears and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last. Since when did the rule book state that girls had to wear girls clothes and boys could only dress in boys?

Dressed in a top from the boys section at Christmas

Growing up, I was dressed in florals and pinks and princess outfits. But when I was old enough to know what I wanted to wear, I found myself buying boys shirts and lots of grungey clothes with studs on. Is that so wrong? I sometimes wear my husbands t-shirts, styled up. I've never read on the label 'NO VAGINAS ALLOWED'. The world has gone insane.

Wearing tights from Slugs and Snails

I've been reading about the whole pink for girls/blue for boys thing a lot just lately. It's crazy. Times have changed and it's sad that people are still stuck in their boxes. Here is a great post about putting girls in pink boxes.

Hamleys have now changed their instore signage, no longer labelling the floor full of soldiers 'boys' and the floor with dolls 'girls' - a small, albeit positive, step back from 'gender essentialism'. Lil has dolls and cars and a tractor with a farm and a tea set. None of these toys I would label boys or girl. My friends son has a doll. My husband had a doll and a pushchair for it too. What's the problem?

Lil can't yet choose what she wants to wear but when she can, it will be her choice. If she wants to play cowboys or dress up a Spiderman, she can be my guest. And I'll be damned if people put her in the pink box.

April Showers.

Even though the weather is miserable, there are lots of things making us smile right now...

The rain - yes it's wet outside and it means we can't play outdoors with the babes but all the pretty plants and flowers are getting watered. And that's a good thing because we're on a hosepipe ban!

The countryside -'ll see.

Friends. Simple as that.

Some kind of social life - slowly, my social life is coming alive again and it's very exciting!

Flowers - the simplest bunch can make a girl smile.

Exercise - I've started running again and it feel good. It's free and in the words of Elle Macpherson 'Running is not only a really effective way to stay fit, it is a sort of moving meditation.'

Lil, taking steps on her own - soon she'll be walking properly. This makes me super proud and she now keeps her shoes on when we're out!

The Big Toddle - Lil is registered for her first fundraising event, taking place in July, for a charity close to our hearts (more on that later). If you'd like to sponsor her, click here.

What's making you smile?

Happy Sunday evening xoxo

Operation 'Get Back To Normal'

Lil is 90% recovered from her illness. Huge sigh of relief. The past nearly two weeks have been draining, to say the least. Normally, my Mum and Nan would have been round to relieve me for a while so I could rest or just spend some time alone regaining my sanity but they've been sick too! So I'm feeling pretty exhausted and a tad run down but we have a weekend in the countryside coming up so plenty of time to slow down and rest (with three under 5's? hmmm, maybe not).

So Monday was the toughest day so far. Tantrums, screaming, hitting, throwing herself back countless times... My patience was tested to its limits. I could do nothing to calm her down so I just had to let her get it out of her system. The reason? Bright red gums. This teething business continues to invade our lives and make us miserable!

Tuesday and Wednesday were spent ploughing through a ton of laundry, getting it dry and ironed ready for the weekend. Tidying, cleaning, re-tidying Lil's mess (when will she learn to put things away herself?!). The weather has been horrendous, lots of rain, so we have only ventured out once (last night - buying more clothes for her majesty).

Today I have to muster the energy to pack for a long weekend in The Cotswolds (a surprise trip for my father in laws 60th). A long wet weekend which is actually perfect (for me) because the best weekends in the country are always the wettest.

Have a great weekend everyone xoxo

A taste of Summer: Halloumi and Strawberry Salad

What is this miserable weather all about? I know it isn't Summer yet but cooooome oooooonn.

I don't know about you but when the weather is crap, so is my mood and I have a tendency to eat more crap than usual. But not yesterday. No. Yesterday I was craving sunshine in my belly and it came in the form of a Halloumi and strawberry salad. Strawberries in a salad, you gasp! That sounds disgusting, my husband scoffed. Get a hold of yourselves! Fruit in your salad is the way forward, I tell you.

Try it, you're gonna LOVE it.

What you will need:

A large handful of strawberries, sliced into small pieces
Half a lemon
Balsamic vinegar
Mixed leaves
2x drizzles of Olive oil
Pepper to season

Remove the planty bit from the strawberries. Wash (the strawberries, not the planty bit) and chop into bite sized pieces. Put them in a bowl and drizzle (not drown) with balsamic vinegar and olive oil and squeeze half a lemon over the top. Mix around and set aside.

Slice the halloumi (I used quite a bit of it in my salad, I'm greedy) and gently sizzle in the pan with a dash of olive oil until lightly browned.

Once sizzled and golden, place on top of a bed of washed, mixed leaves with the strawberries and dressing. Season with pepper.

Simple and delicious.

Perfect for a (not so) sunny afternoon.

MUMS 101.

So I was tagged by Jenny over at Confessions of a Mumpreneur to list three things, as a mother, I'd like to see in 'Room 101' which is quite apt right now as I've had a few comments made to me just lately that have pissed me off.

1. 'When are you going back to work?' or 'What are you going to do?'

Here's the thing, I'm lucky enough to be in a position where I don't have to go back to work. So for now the answers are 'not yet' and 'continue to teach my daughter new things everyday'. I will go back to work, yes, because I enjoy my work but for now I'm quite happy with the way things are. And anyway, what business is it of anyones? It was ok for women to stay home and look after the children sixty years ago but why is it such a negative thing now?

2. 'When is she going to walk?'

Hang on, let me just get my crystal ball out. Why don't you ask her?

3. 'You look tired.'

I know. And do ya wanna know why? Because I haven't slept for the past fifteen months. You look miserable/washed out/ugly/fat/stupid but I would never tell you that because it would hurt your feelings. So shut it.

So, folks, think before you open that trap of yours. Because next time I may just be seconds away from snapping your stupid head off. Smiling and gritting your teeth isn't always as easy as the books say...

Come on Abigail, your turn...

(P.S Can you tell I've had a baaaaaaaad day?)

She Keeps Bees.

I recently stumbled upon a band I've never heard of: She Keeps Bees. I have no clue why I've never heard of them, I'm in love with their music already.

I'm a massive fan of sexy music (yeah I know, that means nothing to you and I'm fully aware 'sexy' isn't a genre. I know I'm no music buff but I know what I like). Dirty haired, smudged eyeliner, booze soaked attitude music. Look, I ain't gonna ramble on. Just go and listen to them.

Happy Friday xo

Beautiful chaos.

And all of a sudden, my head is clear...

The beauty of a happy baby.

Baby sick bug: The Aftermath.

It ain't pretty.

Lil has been sick for almost a week. She's on the mend but she still isn't quite right, her tummy isn't fixed yet.

The effect this has had on me is quite brutal. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. I know Mama's out there have to deal with worse, but this was a pretty big deal for me. I haven't experienced anything like this with her before, and I'm pretty sure it wont be the last time. But it was hard.

The house is a mess, there is clean washing still waiting to be put away after two weeks. The ironing pile is a joke, there are toys everywhere, the whole house needs cleaning and tidying, My head is fuzzy, I have a ton of thank you cards to write, to do lists to make. I swear I've forgotten a hundred things this week already.

A small portion of the mess. Note the sleeping baby.

I know it's the babe that's sick and she's been in pain. I'm crushed I can't do anything for her, I'd go through it for her if I could and being sick makes me cry a lot. I mean, vomiting just ain't fun. But maaaaaaaaaaaaan. My head hurts. I can't think straight. The routine I've worked so hard to established is now non existent. I can only watch her Elmo DVD's so many times before I want to smash the TV and if I have to watch Rihanna's 'What's my name' video one more time (she's obsessed 'ohh na na, oh na na - parent of the year I am not).......

A week on the beach with no phone, TV or computer sounds bliss right now.

Anyone up for that?

Birthday bumps and Easter elation. Well, not quite...

Lil's first birthday came and went in a blur, as did her first Easter. Im so upset she was sick for it, but relieved she can't understand that it was her birthday. I can't imagine her being happy about it if she was sick on her fifth birthday...

I won't ramble on. I did manage to take a few pictures over her birthday weekend, on the rare occasion she smiled.

Grandad and a wriggly baby. Before she got sick.

Auntie Frank.

Poorly sick baby

Auntie ginger.

Her favourite present.

The coolest birthday cake.

A gift from her extremely talented Great Aunt.

A rare giggle.

My little angel.

Lil and Grampy (or Papi, as she calls him).

Being silly with Nanny and Noonoo.

Another birthday cake.

Showing Grampy Elmo.

Where did my baby go?