Wine and coffee.

I've done a 'things i'll miss' post so this is a 'things I'm looking forward to' one. See how they differ in length! I really can't help but complain about how rough this pregnancy is. I do feel very blessed to be able to have a second baby, make no mistake, but oh my god it's been a long and hard slog. I keep getting told "you don't have long left!" well actually yes I fucking do so shut up. Once she's out I'm all about...

Getting my body back. Alright, it'll take a while for it to look how it did on 1st January, but it'll be all mine again and I'll get to wear nice clothes and shoes and it'll be autumn which is my favourite season so who's the winner here? Although this autumn I'll have a new challenge, finding breastfeeding friendly clothes.

You'd better believe I'm gonna rock the shit out of these

Wine. Oh glorious wine. I've had half a glass here and there throughout the pregnancy but I'm excited to have a FULL glass of beautiful red wine. Actually, make that a FULL bottle.

Cheese. Brie and Camembert! And all those lovely Italian meats I was told not to touch. Smoked salmon! As if that baby weight is coming off anytime this year. Let's get Christmas out the way and we'll start thinking about some kind of healthy eating (not eating everything in sight) plan in the New Year.

Coffee. Hot, caffeinated coffee. The feeling you get when it's flowing through your veins. Sweet lord how I've missed that. And the palpitations you get when you've had too much! That's special.

Red hot baths. Alright, I know baths aren't going to be a regular thing, we established that in the other post. But when I have one it's going to be scalding hot. My skin is going to peel right off and it is going to feel good.

Being able to see my vagina. Not that I look at it all day long but, you know, I like to see what's going on down there (clue: not a lot). And being able to tie my shoelaces without grunting / cursing under my breath.

Holding my tiny baby. Sniffing her head. Watching my little girl become a big sister. After wine and coffee, that's probably the thing I'm looking forward to the most (I JEST, a little).

Not having piles. What more is there to say on this matter?

The gym. I genuinely miss the gym, for me it's the best stress reliever ESPECIALLY when you're knackered. Why is that?

Wearing bras that make my tits look semi-decent (even if they drop to my knees when I take one off). Maternity bras just don't do it for me. Oh god, I've got to get past nursing bras first haven't I?!

Sleeping(!) how I want. On my back, on my front. Having to sleep on my left side all the time isn't my favourite.

Not waddling. Or having excruciating pelvic pain. Being able to walk fast again. Not feeling like a massive great lump.

Putting on my own shoes and tying laces... "Lil can you take my shoes off for me please?"

COME ON, YOU CAN DO THIS. Not long to go *punches self in head*

3rd trimester LOLZ

You're not going to see your vagina for a while so you'd either better make regular appointments to get waxed or just not bother and go 70's mum bush. I'm told by a midwife (no less) that they really don't care about what your downstairs bits look like, they're only interested in you and that baby. And let's be honest, it's just effort when you get to the third trimester.

You will not be able to get comfortable for shit. Sitting on the sofa, the floor, a cushion, a stool, sleeping on your left, sleeping on your right, sleep sitting up... I've only found relief on a birth ball and even then once restless legs kick in that doesn't help. Let the rage wash over you and go for a walk. Or have a bath.

If heartburn hasn't driven you round the bend yet, you can expect it to turn up at some point in the final stretch of your pregnancy. Here's what I've found helps... NOT mint Gaviscon, apparently you need to steer clear of that shit (mint aggravates it which makes no fucking sense since they make it in that flavour). Opt for the aniseed version, yes I know it's rank but it does help. And I know it has a spunky consistency but needs must... swallow, don't spit.

Harder than it sounds

Now is the perfect time to play the pregnancy card, especially if you've avoided it so far. You can get out of EVERYTHING. Dinner with your mother in law? Nausea is back, sorry, can't stomach the smell of food. Kids party to go to? Pregnancy headache, sorry, you'll have to take the kids instead darling husband. Filling the trolley up with crap in IKEA and your other half is huffing and puffing because you don't need another chopping board and you really don't need anymore fucking plants? Just give him the 'don't fuck with this raging pregnant bitch' stare. It's a card you don't have the privilege of using forever.

You're going to waddle like a duck with something shoved up its backside. Roll with it.

People are going to ask how much longer you have to go and then act shocked when you tell them because "you look fit to burst". They will also say "oh not long to go now" especially when you're in a bad mood and everything is irritating you. Ignore them. Or punch them. Your call.

You are going to wake up one day and want to paint the entire house from top to bottom. Don't, you'll regret it by the time you've finished painting one wall and your vagina has seized up. Get your baby daddy to do that. You stick to ordering new shit online and delegating the tough stuff. There's a packet of biscuits in the cupboard with your name on it.



Fugly cry face and gut sucking.

I'm done with the weekly updates now. I mean it's hardly going to get any better, at least until the baby arrives anyway. And then it'll get a different kind of worse, a good but bad one. You know what I mean.

I'm only going to get larger and more miserable as the weeks pass, whether it's because of SPD or general pregnant irritability at everyone or because my first baby is starting school in a matter of weeks (fugly cry face, Kim Kardashian ain't got shit on me). So I thought I'd stop all that. Instead, this week I've written a list of things I'll miss about being pregnant because as much as I've moaned about pregnancy, I'm totally gonna miss it. A bit.

Not having to suck in my gut. Wearing bodycon was never going to be on my list of things to do but pregnancy has allowed this and I like to think I've rocked that shit. Come October it'll be baggy tops over skinny jeans with my stomach tucked in until at least the spring and even that's ambitious.

The pregnancy card. Although giving back that card does open you up to a whole new card... The "sorry I can't I have a newborn / child I need to collect from school" card. Double whammy. And those hormones that are raging around your body, well those are newborn baby hormones which means you have an excuse for throwing the controls at your husbands head / demanding he goes to the Co-Op to you chocolate because you're so fucking exhausted. The joys of being a pregnant / post partum / woman in general woman. 

There must be more. Er...

Feeling the baby move? Nah, that's just gotten uncomfortable now and anyway, I felt Lil move in my uterus even after she was out. That was weird. Twitchy insides.

The long hot soaks. Ah yes, those. Like hell am I going to be able to manage one of those for a while. Unless the baby is a dream and free of colic / attitude and will let me live my life a bit during the day. I know, I'm wild. Baths are my life (after sleep and food anyway).

Excuse for a pedicure? Nope, as if any woman ever needed an excuse for one of those.

This is hard.

I'll miss eating as much as I have been. I haven't eaten toooooooo much this time or at least not that much more than normal because I've heard it's a bastard to shift the baby weight the second time round (hi Mum!) and yes I was one of those lucky smug fuckers who was back to their pre-pregnancy weight in 6 weeks with Lil (but in my defence I hardly ate because screamy baby / no food in the house / exhaustion / caffeine... a diet I'm hoping not to have to live on this time because that shit wasn't fun... Well I know I'll be eating exhaustion for every meal but... Whatever). Oh lovely food how I love you. Calories don't count when you're up the duff. I've totally contradicted myself there I'M PREGNANT I'M ALLOWED TO.

Sleep. Although this is a tricky one. I'm not getting much sleep because from the moment I get into bed there's a party in my uterus until the early hours but what I am getting is to sleep in on the weekends and those few extra hours (although there is nothing 'extra' about them really is there) help. Sleeping in on the weekends will be a thing of the past (again) for the next four or so years. I'm going to go and weep in the corner now. WHY do we do this to ourselves? I am totally fucking napping when the baby naps this time. No messing around wasting time watching her sleep or making bread rolls or cleaning. HELL NO. I ain't no fool (I am a bit of one to be honest). Contradicted myself again. Whatever. 

Being lazy. "I haven't done anything today because this baby is draining the life out of me and I'm so tired." Well she'll put an end to that one when she arrives won't she (not the tiredness, obvs). I won't have the excuse of not being able to touch sixty-shot flat whites. Nuh uh. Bitch, the world moves on so get over that shit, neck some coffee and get on with your day. Pffft.

So there are things I'll miss. Mainly sleep. This whole post should have just read "I'll miss sleep" and that's about it, really. I'm sure I'll be able to add to this once I give birth. 

Week 30

Dear baby in my belly

You've been growing for 30 weeks now and while I've loved (ok, exaggeration) having you stay and use my ribs as a xylophone with your feet, I really can't wait for you to come out in 7 (or so) weeks. I'm excited to meet you, of course I am, but I'm also excited to have a bladder that doesn't get beaten the shit out of every time you move.

Your head is down and I'm pretty sure that at some point when I take a shower or do a wee, I'm going to see an arm pop out and give me a little wave. That's how much pressure I'm feeling down there right now, keep up the good work!

You're growing well although you're not huge like people keep telling me, you're roughly the size of a baby a week younger than you and that's ok. Especially if I decide that you're coming out down there and not through your sisters exit. But I guess you have time to grow quite a lot bigger and end up hurting me pretty bad. Grow, just don't... You know... Get too big. 

My boobs are getting ready for you, my chest resembles a road map even more so than it did with your sister. It looks like she's drawn on my chest with a felt tip pen, I've taken a picture to show you when you're older. You can apologise then.

You have a ton of clothes waiting to be worn, blankets to be snuggled in, a shit ton of knitwear too. An autumn baby! You lucky little thing. All the best babies are born in the autumn (AHEM) although don't tell your sister I said that. Speaking of autumn, when you hop over to the real world I'll almost be thirty. I'll be all saggy and have leaky boobs and flappy skin but I'll have my two girls and there's not much more I could ask for. Apart from a giant cake, lots of wine and some sparkly presents because I'll still be turning thirty and you won't be stealing my thunder kiddo, OH NO.

I've moaned a lot about this pregnancy but only because it's a big old slog. I'm grateful that you're in there all safe and well, kicking the granny out of me all night long. But don't you worry sunshine, you and your sister will pay in the form of sleep deprivation ten years down the line when your father and I decide it will be fun to get you up at 6am on the weekend for hikes in the rain. 

Keep on doing your thing, although perhaps limit it a little at nighttime so I can get SOME sleep in preparation for your arrival. And remember, don't get TOO big. And if you get suddenly jolted out of your day sleep because your big sister is singing to you... You'd better get used to that shit. And for god sake whatever you do, never tell her she can't sing.

Peace out,
Mama xo

Go Outside The Lines

I've always been one of these mums who stands over their kid when they do crafts, trying to hold back from directing them. Lil comes from two creatives and we've always encouraged her to be as creative as she likes but you know sometimes you think "ah it would look even better if you did that!" but you stop yourself because you want to encourage them not dictate. Anyway, I'm getting better at this. Her dad, not so much.

We're lucky enough to know a lot of creative people (naturally, being from that industry) and when one of my husbands friends and his wife launched their new brand Go Outside The Lines, they were kind enough to send us a print for Lil to have fun with.

I let her loose with the colouring pens and let her do her thing and now have this brilliant piece of artwork hanging in our main living space for everyone to see. I've always made a point of showing off her creations *proud mum face*.

excuse the reflections, the sun is shining unfortunately

GOTL is the creator of prints for kids (and parents) to colour, decorate, paint, be creative with which can then be framed and hung. It's a simple yet very cool idea and the prints are just perfect to send as gifts. I'll be stocking up as Christmas gets closer and encouraging(!) Lil to be as crazy as she likes so we can frame them as Christmas presents for family.

There is a large range of prints to shop from but our faves are 'WHO RUN THE WORLD? GIRLS' (naturally) and 'KEEP IT FOOLISH'. You can shop the collection here. You can also find them on Instagram @gooutsidethelines. Get your pens ready kids!

9 months 9 tips

Even though I can't say I'm a pro at this pregnancy business (unless you want to call me a pro at moaning about it) I do have plenty of advice for those who are doing it for the first time or for those who have ridiculous baby brain and have forgotten (it's only just coming back to me now). So I thought I'd write up 9 tips for 9 months, although they aren't for any month in particular but for your entire pregnancy.

Ask for help...

If you're exhausted and the ironing pile is taller than you, don't be afraid to ask someone to help you out. Your partner, your mum, a friend. The worst they can say is no and let's be honest, who would dare say no to a ragey pregnant woman? You're going to need to get used to asking for (and accepting) help because once this baby comes along you will need all the help you can get. Whether it's with chores, cooking or watching the baby for twenty minutes while you go and cry in a hot shower because you're so exhausted.

Always have snacks and a book in your bag (as well as your maternity notes)...

You'll find your appointments with your midwife / consultant / sonographer won't always be on time and you can bet your bottom dollar your phone signal will be rubbish (no perusing the gossip pages of the Daily Fail... who me? NEVER) so it pays to have a book and some snacks in your bag. The book I'm currently (re) reading is Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

If you don't feel well or as though something isn't right, call your midwife...

You'll soon learn to go with your gut, it's my top tip for new mamas. You know your body just like you will get to know your baby. If something doesn't feel right, it might not be. And your midwife and maternity triage unit are there to help you. If it turns out everything is fine, you're wasting nobodies time and it will save on anxiety in the long run. I've been up to my maternity triage unit three times now and they were so friendly and reassuring, it's their job to be there for you during your pregnancy.

Treat yourself...

I really need to practise what I preach on this one. When your baby gets here you turn into this crazy person who will do everything for their child and nothing for themselves. Trust me. Take this time before their arrival to have pedicures and massages, take long soaks in the bath and read books at your leisure. Plan a weekend away to the country or a spa. Go for long lunches. Shit gets crazy after month 9 and you will never be the same again.


During the first 12 weeks I did this, even with a four year old and even though I am not a fan of napping (makes me feel gross after). I set up lots of activities, snacks, dvds and recorded all her favourite programmes and taught her how to find them on the planner and snoozed on the sofa for an hour. If you need to nap, do it. Cancel your plans and sleep, your body is working so hard and the least you can do to help it along is sleep if you need (or want) to. As I get heavier and slower I can see those naps coming back, it's not being lazy... it's looking after yourself.

Take photos...

Of your growing body. I didn't do this with my first pregnancy, I wasn't a fan of my changing shape, and I regret it. This time it's a different story, I'm pretty sure I've bored off half of my instagram followers. But it's a special time and who knows if I'll do it again (head: no, heart: yes) so I'm embracing the photos and the changes. It'll be great to look back on.

Don't go batshit crazy buying stuff...

That £30 babygrow you just can't stop looking at? Your baby will grow out of it in a week and you'll kick yourself. Save all the expensive stuff for when they're older. Read this post about what to buy (and what you really don't need to bother with).


I'm not advocating stuffing your face (although it's what got me through the horrific morning sickness period) but I'm also not saying you should starve yourself. Nourish your body, give it what it wants (unless thats dirty potatoes to suck on). Craving chocolate? Give in. Nobody likes a preggo bore who only eats salad and vegetables (although lucky you if your cravings aren't stodge based). Carbs, sugar (although let's practise moderation here.... practice what you preach Charlotte), meat... if it's what you fancy then have it. Don't deprive yourself, that'll only make you rage even harder.

Look after your skin...

While you might not be able to control the random white hair sprouting out of your cheekbone (that's not just me, right???) or the fact that you will not be able to control your dark circles, it really does pay to look after your skin, especially during pregnancy. I had crazy skin during the first trimester so set about reading this blog for hours on end and changing my skincare routine and it worked. Drinking a shit ton of water helped too. But trust me, this woman knows skincare and pregnancy.

That's 9 right? Yes, that's 9. Brainache. There are hundreds more, of course... I just can't remember them right now.

Week 29

I've had to check at least three times a day this week how many weeks pregnant I am. I guess that's baby brain for you, although I'm not sure it ever went away after having Lil. I have a diary now that I make a point of looking through every morning in case I've forgotten something or if I need to post a birthday card or present (I have bought for all birthdays from now up until October when the baby is due... SKILLZ).

Week 29 hasn't been much different to 28, it's still chocolate and excessive sugar consumption that leaves my chest and throat on fire. I'm still very uncomfortable and the irritability is getting worse (Lil's constant humming and singing and noise making is driving me MAD). The exhaustion I experienced is slowly seeping back in and I've decided now might be a good time to slow down (that includes not touching the ironing pile).

I've been super tearful this week and then wanted to punch someone really hard in the face minutes later, it's great fun being a woman!

bounce bounce

This weeks trip to the midwife saw the baby measuring a week behind (which is perfectly normal) so all my worries about the shitty "you're huge" comments were put to rest and she told me just to ignore the insensitive idiots. I also have an appointment at the VBAC clinic coming up but right at this moment I'm back on the fence. Being pregnant isn't just physically exhausting, you know.

I feel like this baby had a growth spurt in the night, I look bigger today but perhaps she's changed position. I have a perfect comeback to anymore stupid comments I get about my size thanks to a lovely IG friend "well, I have a big vagina so..." that should silence them.

Restless legs are still taking over sleep and I can't get comfortable some nights which has seen me pacing around the room at 2am silently cursing. I have a birth ball now which is providing amusement for Lil, apparently I look like a big blob bouncing around like a grasshopper(?), thanks kid.

This week I've been going backwards and forwards on whether to buy the Cocoonababy or the Sleepyhead, I've heard great things about both but apparently the Cocoonababy is good for reflux and it's bloody sods law this baby will have it. Any help you can provide on this will be appreciated, thanks very much.

What makes me happy right now? Being in a comfy sleep bra and huge granny pants and nothing else, laying in front of the fan and the weekends.

Ten (or so) weeks to go, yo!

Psssst... I'm over at Babeface The Double Mama's blog answering some questions about being a Mum. Her blog is brilliant and has been a great help when thinking about breastfeeding. Read all about it here.

National Doll Day and the mum who knows nothing about dolls.

We were very kindly invited to National Doll Day at the Museum of Childhood in Bethnal Green last weekend from the lovely people at Zapf Creation. Lil has never really been big on dolls except for the one time when she was pretty small and carried a giant one around with her everywhere, kissing it and saying "aahhhhhhhhh" but since being pregnant, she is now super into them (doll AND babies).

After a tour around the museum, looking at all the lovely old toys and amazing dolls houses, she was treated to face painting, doll dress up and lots of lovely paper doll crafts.

According to my four year old, who is now a specialist in which dolls are the coolest (thanks youtube), Baby Born is where it's at so she had lots of fun playing with these dolls that wee and poo. Gross, I thought, but actually it's the norm these days... mum if the baby didn't wee and poo it would get poorly... she has a point! So for an hour and a half she played and crafted and ate and played some more and compiled her Christmas list.

Picking out her favourite mini CHOU CHOU dolls

It was great to see all the new products in the flesh (I cannot bear Toys R Us in the summer holidays... check out the cute new clothing range here) and we were treated to some lovely cupcakes. I am now a little poorer after investing in a highchair and cloth nappies for her new Baby Born who she has named Thomas James but seeing her be so gentle with the doll makes me happy and confident she is going to be the best big sister ever.

If you haven't been to the Museum of Childhood yet, it's definitely worth a trip. And if your little one is a doll lover then check out the new range at Zapf Creation and follow them on Facebook for exclusive news and competitions.